PHOENIX, AZ – A tragic accident that could have been avoided took the lives of all 163 people on board the Boeing 737 bound for Phoenix. The plane crashed on the runway amid a huge cloud of chemical smoke and fire.

“We managed to recover the flight recorder and the black box” said the National Transportation Safety Board’s Daryl Dawe. “We were able to pinpoint exactly what went wrong: the pilot failed to switch off the chemtrails on landing. It is virtually impossible to land an aircraft as big as a 737 while at the same time blowing out geoengineering chemical trails.”

United Airlines is staying quiet about the whole chemtrail finding, instead saying it was a mechanical error. Two men in black suits were seem leaving the United Airlines PR department moments before the press conference.

“We are saddened by the loss of the 163 people on board the aircraft. It was an unfortunate mechanical error which could not have been prevented,” said United’s Mark Waller.

Chemtrail truthers the world over are shouting this story from the rooftops, but unfortunately the truth behind the crash is only being reported by satire sites and conspiracy theory blogs.

“Of course the mainstream media is not going to cover this story” said chemtrail expert Danny Crane. “The Illuminati, Big Pharma and Monsanto control all major media outlets. Except for YouTube, we can still post our videos on there. I’m not sure why they haven’t shut that down yet to be honest.”